Somebody Hire Me?

For the benefit of all...and for my own catharsis, allow me to present to you my resume...or at least what SHOULD be there.

Novel Concept
Somewhere in Provo, UT
4-Hireme (444-7363)
Novelconcept@gmail.com

Skills: Man, I got skills like you wouldn't believe...I got skills with all of the following things:

• School
• Potato Chips and Cottage Cheese
• Internet Chatting
• Hundred Hour Board writing
• Meat Moving
• Nunchucks
• Ninjas
• sweltering-hot day Asphalt walking
• Rain singing
• Child Care
• Button-Pushing
• Cave making
• Food cooking
• Game playing
• Hug giving
• Charlotte/Vendetta impersonating
• Burger flipping
• Tortilla tossing

Work Experience:

• 20 years experience playground equipment tester
• 20+ years experience
  
• 15+ years Movie Critic
• 20+ years life experience
• anything else it'll take to get you to hire me...Believe me--I'm perfect for this job...

Yeah, that's kind how I'm feeling right now. Just...Tell me what you want, and I can do it! Seriously, I'm skilled! No, really, I AM worth your time and well worth all your money. I think the main problem is that I'm not sticking around for any longer than spring and summer(I've got another job in the Fall)...At least, I keep telling myself that at this point so that I don't feel so bad about life. I've currently applied or inquired to about 20 on-campus jobs and 3-4 off-campus ones to no avail. I keep getting the emails or comments that say, "Thanks for applying, we appreciate your time, the position has been filled." Basically they're saying, "Thanks, but no thanks...You're just not quite good enough." Looks like I'll be back at the MORC again soon. Good thing the people there are so great.

In other news, I just counted all the money in my piggy bank. Looks like the accounts fall thus:
Pennies in my piggy bank: 253
Pennies in my real bank: a few more...

Good thing I can laugh about this...as Uffish said earlier: "Novel, you lead quite the life."