There's more of Gravy than of Grave....

I don't usually have dreams that really scare me. I've had dreams that have made me cry, I've had dreams where I've woken myself up because I was actually laughing out loud, and I've even had a dream in French once, and I don't speak a word.

Last night though, I had a dream that actually scared me, and I couldn't seem to get away from it. This is what happened.

You know all the black and white war photos you see in history classes and such from like, 9th grade on? Well, imagine (or don't, it's sad) that you're watching all those horrible things happen, but not with the noises that go along with them, just silence, and the occasional film noise. Allow me to explain the film noise part. It's like when you watch a movie and you can hear the film turning on the reels...you understand? I hope so...it's the sound that you hear if you stay through the very end of the credits and everything is black...except it wasn't all black, it's these terrible scenes. Everything from the holocaust to my imagination's version of the final battle between the Nephites and the Lamanites. All silent, all playing before my eyes, not like a movie, but like a play, with movie quality...in 3D. In the corner of the stage there's a little boy, also in black and white, and he's about 9, and wearing like, old English school-boy clothes. He's watching the same scenes, while moving closer to me. I can't see his face though, and somehow I know (don't you love how you just know things in dreams?) that if I see his face, that I will die, because this little boy is death embodied.

Well, finally, the boy has moved to the point where he's right in the center of my line of vision, and he starts to turn around really slowly, and I know what's happening, so I wake up, for real. I lay in bed for a few seconds scared to go back to sleep, but I manage to do it anyway.

A few minutes later, I'm in the same dream, and it's only a little rewound from the place that I was when I'd last woken up, and he was still moving towards me, and turning...

And that's how my night continued for a little while, I got this kind of morbid curiosity after a little while, where I wanted to know what he looked like, but I knew I would die if I saw him.

I never did see death, and I'm very much alive today, I'm just wondering one thing:

What on earth did I eat that made that horrid dream happen?

TV is the Devil

Well, at least TV Preview...

I mean, I was all psyched up to go...DOOR PRIZES!!

I didn't win anything...and sadly, neither did Uffish or Wafflewitz...'twas really tragic.

On top of that, we sat through 2 hours of the worst TV ever. I was really glad that we got the chance to tell them what we thought of it, because I certainly had some opinions on the topics. The first show was called "Soulmates." Basically, it opperated on the premise that these two people had met in a past life, and they were trying to get together in successive lives, and this episode was all about her trying to figure out where she knew this guy from.

My critique stated the following: This show had the sentimentality of a middle-school diary, and was equally worth my time.

The second show was one that used to run on TV, and they're thinking about redoing it for TV again. The actors in it were pretty good, but it was still a dumb show. Thumbs down for both.

On top of all that, there were commercials...and not very good ones. In fact, there was the worst Dorritos commercial EVER in there. Somehow though, I still found myself wishing for the commercials to come, rather than watching the TV shows.

On top of all this insult, my cell phone was picked up by someone while there. It had been in my purse...but it wasn't there when I left. I called and got it suspended so that it couldn't make any calls, or recieve any, and then sent my mom an e-mail about the whole thing. I actually went back to the hotel where they'd held the whole thing yesterday, and someone had turned it in, so I'm not sure what happened there. Anyway, that sorrowful part is now fixed. :D

AND we didn't win anything! I felt justified in keeping the stupid pen they included with our rating packet...at least then I'd take something from the evening.

It was a terrible evening, minus the company. Uffish and Wafflewitz are really great people to hang out with by the way, if you're lucky enough to try it sometime-take the opportunity. Phoenix even brought over some of his cure-all remedy...Ice Cream, and then a bunch of us watched most of White Christmas. Hooray for friends who can help cheer you up.

I thought I was done with the awful TV Preview people forever. I didn't win, I didn't like them, and I'd lost 2 hours of my precious youth for them. I bet I'll regret that when I'm like...50.

Well, today, they found me.

I get a phone call from the people. They had the audacity to call me! ME! Who told them exactly what I thought of their stupid TV Preview with the comment that they needed "more prizes, and T-shirts, free ones." These people wanted another 10 minutes of my life! Their justification was that it'd had been a few days and they wanted to get my opinions after the fact.

Oh, did I have opinions.

I could have just hung up on them...but I decided to give them what they wanted. They'd likely be getting hung up on by most people anyway right?

I did the entire thing monotone...no change in my voice whatsoever. part of our conversation went like this:

"Do you remember seeing a Secret Body Sprays commercial?"
"Yes"
"What ideas were presented in the commercial?"
"That if you wear their spray you'll be a sexy lady and have success with men."
"Were there any other ideas presented in the commercial that you noticed?"
"You won't stink."

She didn't so much as titter.

"Do you remember seeing a Bounty Paper Towel Commercial?"
"Yeah."
"What ideas were presented in the commercial?"
"Bounty is better than the leading competitor."
"Were there any other ideas presented in the commercial that you noticed?"
"Bounty is better at absorbing green water."

Poor lady. Oh well, it was awful. She asked me if I would consider coming back if I were invited again. I said "Probably not." She replied, "Is that a yes or no?"

"No." DUH!

Anyway, if anything else, I hope that Uffish, Wafflewitz and I helped to save the world from some kind of horrible programming, because that, my friends, is why the Youth of America are becoming so darn stupid.

TV is the Devil.

Great Song

OK, this is my favorite song, I think it's absolutely awesome. It's called "Lasagna" and it's by Cherie Call.

Tried to eat some lasagna today.
It didn't taste how it did when I made it
Come to think of it, that was Tuesday,
Maybe I shouldn't have saved it.
The microwave gives it a radioactive crisp,
Which is not what you're after.
I still have half a pan left

Wish you were here.

Went to a resturant and saw these two,
They had a table near the band.
And when the band played a slow one,
He reached over to touch her hand.
Well, I think they saw me staring,
So I went to pay the bill.
But somehow it made me

Wish you were here.

It's not like I can't stand on my own,
It's not like I don't have friends who will call on the phone,
And boys who will take me out,
That's not what this is about.
Cause I've never missed you before,
But lately sometimes I do.
And I don't know where you are,
Or if there's even such a thing as you.
All I know is today hasn't been any different
From any other day of any year.
Maybe that's what's wrong

Wish you were here.

Well you've been gone too long.
Wish you were here.

Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo
Wish you were here.



It doesn't leave you feeling like..."awwww, poor me," either. It makes you go, "Huh, there's someone out there just for me."

Yeah...Novel's feeling really sappy right now...anyone want half my Twix?