Sunday, November 13, 2005

"I'm Glad You're Here!"

Hey Everyone!

Wisdom teeth surgery went well...really well in fact, and I have no complaints. I'm not swollen much anymore...I didn't swell much in the first place, and apart from being tired, I'm back to regular old me. Maybe even better.

For some reason, I feel more like myself in the past couple of days than I have in a little bit of awhile--I feel just plain happy. I have friends and family who love me, I have people who care about me, and I just saved 120% on my wisdom tooth extraction!

I think part of it comes from a general change of attitude that has accompanied my new job at Brick Oven--I work there and as an RA still, and despite the lack of sleep that working full time while going to school full time facilitates, I feel happier. I'm more financially secure, and that's always a good feeling, and work is also pretty fun. I just work the salad bar, but I really do enjoy it. It goes by pretty quickly, and it's not bad work.

Something else about work is interesting, and I thought that I would dislike it--it's a rule that you're supposed to smile. At first, the sassy little inner voice that I posses wanted to revolt against this particular rule, thinking things like, "yeah, whatever. I'll smile if I feel like smiling." (insert sassy head wiggle here). The more intelligent and socially conscious part of me agreed to the rule, and so I walked around work the first night smiling, while wearing a nametag that tells everyone that I'm glad that they chose to frequent Brick Oven that evening.

The odd thing about it is this. Wearing that nametag, and forcing myself to smile in the beginning eventually makes it so that I genuinely feel like smiling a little while later. I feel more like I'm serving people, and that they probably appreciate having a clean, well-stocked salad bar to come to. I end up feeling, in fact, that I really am glad that they chose to come to Brick Oven that night.

I've started to try the same approach in some of my other areas of life. When doing thing as an RA, I try to look at what I'm doing as service, and realize, that though no one might say anything, I bet they really do appreciate it. When I'm doing my schoolwork, I try to think of things as a service both to myself, and to my teachers, who likely appreciate not having to grade terrible papers, and would rather look at good ones.

It's been great! I'm excited about my school stuff again, I'm not feeling nearly as burned out, and I don't really want to just drop out of school and start trying my backup plans. I'm getting excited about applying for my major in January, I'm looking forward to more school and eventually even to graduation, and I'm feeling happier with myself and what I'm doing than I have in a little while.

It's marvelous folks, what a little dose of pretended happiness and excitement can do--try it, if you're clever enough, or a good enough actor/actress, maybe you'll even manage to fool yourself.