Thursday, August 03, 2006

Everyone is Out To Get US

Weakening Storm Still May Form Hurricane
Page A13
MIAMI, Aug. 2 -- Tropical Storm Chris weakened Wednesday but still threatened to become the first hurricane of 2006, aimed at Florida or at U.S. oil facilities in the Gulf of Mexico, where monster storms such as Katrina wreaked havoc last year.

--http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/print/asection/index.html (emphasis added)

Is it just me, or does this little blurb make it sound like it's not just the terrorists who are out to get us, it's now the hurricanes too? Nature doesn't "take out" things in strategic strikes...it just goes where it wants to. I'm pretty sure this storm, while it could be heading in the direction of those oil facilities, is not, in fact, predeterminedly (Yes, I did make up that word.) aimed toward them.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Holy August Batman!

Suddenly, it's August, and I can't think what happened to May, June, and July. Especially July. It's over already! Just last week I could have sworn that it was July 4th. I could have sworn it, but I would have been crazy.

I've been noticing that when I don't pay attention to what people are saying in conversations closely enough, I lie to them. Not just, "Oh, you didn't understand" kind of lies...just lies.

The other day, I was walking with a fellow intern and doing the Crossword puzzle on my way to work. She noticed me doing the crossword puzzle, and apparently started asking me about whether or not I had seen Wordplay. I had, in fact, gone to see Wordplay the night before. In being distracted and kind of ignoring her, I responded, "No, I haven't seen that yet, but I really want to." Then we started talking about some scheduling things and I started to pay attention.

That, and I got stuck on the crossword, so I had nothing else to do for the next 5 minutes.

Later that day, my fellow intern and a supervisor were talking about Wordplay again...and I was excited to get into the conversation, seeing as I had just seen the movie. I start to talk to them about it, and I was really excited about it, when the other intern looks at me and says, "you said you hadn't seen that movie."
"What?" I replied. "No I didn't. I just saw it last night."
"This morning, when I asked you about it, you said you hadn't seen it."

At this point in the afternoon, I have no recollection of lying to her this morning. I, in fact, don't remember conversing with her before talking about our schedule change that weekend. I only remember working on the crossword puzzle, and then running into her after putting it down.

Isn't it interesting how we remember things? Clearly, my brain just edited what happened in the situation. I've certainly had instances where I remember things one way, and someone else who was there remembers it differently...or where something seems to become a memory based on the stories that I heard about being there.

Why is memory such a slippery thing? If mine is going now...I'm worried about what's going to happen when I turn old. Maybe this is why it's so important to keep a journal...so that you've got one source you'll feel dumb disputing with--yourself.

Rabbit Rabbit everyone.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Tender Mercies

I have to work today, and I have to work from 10-5:30, which means that I can't go to church.

I've been feeling pretty bummed about this. It's odd. There are some days where I don't really get excited to go to church, but I always miss it when, for some reason or another, I can't go to church. I miss the boost in morale I get from being in church--the chance to refocus, regroup, and return to where I'm supposed to be.

So, I'm sitting on the Metro this morning, riding to work, feeling sad and a little alone, and asking in one of my silent little prayers to just feel loved. It wasn't even a really earnest pleading prayer. It was one of those things where you say something in passing, but if someone didn't catch what you said and then asked, "what did you say?" you'd answer with, "nothing." Anyway, right as I prayed my little prayer, a guy from the program I'm in sits next to me and gives me one of those little side hugs right before getting off the metro about 10 seconds later.

Coincidence? Possibly, but the fact that it could be coincidence doesn't matter to me. For me, that little incident was an answer to a prayer, because it did exactly what I needed it to--it made me feel loved.

This is certainly not the first time this has happened either. I am consistently amazed at the little requests that my Heavenly Father sees fit to grant. In August of 2004 I was feeling pretty lonely. I'd just said good-bye to Best Friend for a couple of years, and all the other friends that I'd hung out with freshmen year were all still at home or on missions. That, and I was moving all my stuff around my room and unpacking, which generally makes me somewhat nostalgic. In short, I was pretty blue. I'm moving stuff around my room, feeling a little grumpy at the lack of space in a DT single room, and I'm asking Heavenly Father to help me change my attitude, because I don't like feeling the way I was.

Well, I picked up my fridge, and found a circle made out of blue construction paper under it. This paper had a big happy face on it, a scripture from The Doctrine and Covenants about a cheerful heart, and the word "SMILE!" written across the top in bold letters. I couldn't help myself--I just started to laugh. All alone on my empty floor, I laughed, and my mood was completely changed.

I guess it's hard to see exactly how great these moments were for me if you're not me, and if you don't have the same mind set and such. For me though, they've been little testimonies to me that God is listening, and that he really does care about me and all my silly little ups and downs. He even listens to the things that I half-mutter under my breath when I think no one cares. It reminds me of this quote:

"The simpleness, the sweetness, and the constancy of the tender mercies of the Lord will do much to fortify and protect us in the troubled times in which we do now and will yet live."
Elder David A. Bednar
Ensign, May 2005, 100

It's true. Honestly, it's all true. God really does love us, and he is our Father. I'm sure thankful, and I'm even more thankful that he actually cares. Here's to hoping you all have the same affirmation.