I just spent lunch with the future of our country...And I have to say-the future looks...Well, trendy?
After some careful observation with a friend, we've come up with some very important things you need to know if you ever plan to become a leader in your Family, Career, or Community.
Sensible shoes-wearing these makes people realize that you, too, are sensible. Also, they show that you can aspire to new heights on the inside-you don't need material goods to do it.
Jean Skirts-wearing these shows that you're in touch with the pulse of the people, without actually stooping to their level. You're wearing jeans AND a skirt-how much more do you want?
Hunting Jacket-don't wear these, it just screams "I HATE ANIMALS!!!" You're not going to get anywhere with animal lovers hating you too much.
Teddy Bear-carry one of these, because it shows that you're compassionate, and you love animals. Either that, or it shows that you need one of the next with you...
Mommy-it's ok to let her stay home after awhile...Really. She probably gets sick of hanging around anyway.
Lip Ring-far to distracting when speaking...And gross looking. Which brings us to...
Language (Crap, Ex-lax)-if you call your friends ex-lax as a term of endearment...I don't want you. Also, if you use the word 'crap' you're clearly a potty mouth and have no business being around people of high repute.
crap...
Ice Cream-do not follow everyone else to the ice cream machine. If you do, you are a lemming, and you obviously promote obesity in America...Obviously.
Whimsical Shoes-now, these need to be sensible tennis shoes with blue, yellow, and green swirls on them. These shoes will not likely get you the ultimate leadership opportunity-though they may allow you to work your way into congress or something. I think quirky might work for that.
Collared Shirt-You have to have a collared shirt...And a tie-otherwise, how on earth are people supposed to trust you? Well, if you're male-girls need a skirt. The skirt suit on girls says "I'm a business women" a lot more than it screams "elect me!" though.
Untucked Shirt-guys shirts must be tucked in. The flap in the back that covers your backside indicates that you're looking to cover your own behind before looking out for the team. While this may be a statement of truth, you want people to at least believe you're entirely sincere.
Puff Paint-Don't use this, it just makes you look like you tried to be crafty without any real tools available...
Yeah, those are the things I learned. Shallow? Critical? Cynical maybe? It's always possible...But Uffish is revealing werf's gender today, along with 'nyms-I'm sure you guys are MUCH more interested in that anyway. :)
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5 comments:
Actually, I found this post to be pretty interesting, even equally interesting to the revealing of Uffish's gender, other nyms. I never liked my puff paint shirts anyway, the texture bothered me, but I think I still have some tucked away in my closet. It would be fun to bring em out and wear em just to see other people's reactions.
Novel. I must say that you're my favorite writer. Although Uffish comes in a close second I have known you much longer. I love your posts. Especially when I am in them.
Do you really think saying "crap" means someone's a potty mouth? Just curious.
Oh dear me, not at all. I was saying that one a little bit tongue-in-cheek...due to some of the recent Board things. Perhaps I should do that better. :)
I've always thought the phrase "tounge in cheek" was incredibly ambiguous. Congradulations Novel (you know of what I speak) come visit!
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